About+Languages

These are few of the articles that I have read and found it interesting! =__Irish language __= //__Cross posted from Ezine Articles __//

Although the Irish language is spoken by less than 15% of the national population of Ireland*, it has influenced much of the way Irish citizens speak their dominate language: English. Did you know that the Irish language and other Gaelic-influenced dialects don’t have words for “yes” or “no”? Typically, the below responses would be answered “yes” or “no” by most Anglophones, but not by our Irish brothers and sisters of the world:


 * Can you give me a lift to the station? I can./I can’t.
 * Would you like to get a cup of coffee? I would./I wouldn’t.
 * Do you like green apples? I do./I don’t.
 * Did you hear? I didn’t./I heard.
 * Are you going to the city? I am going./I amn’t.

Did you notice how the response often echoes the verb in the original question? You did! Remarkable, isn’t it? (Response: “It is!”) And that last point: “I amn’t” – what’s the deal there? If we have negative contractions for “be” such as isn’t (is not), aren’t (are not), wasn’t (was not), and weren’t (were not), then why not amn’t (am not)?!

While there are dozens of English accents around the world, it’s also true that there are many Irish accents. So there’s no ONE Irish dialect. But there are a few common traits to replicating the sound; for example:


 * Use elongated vowels, so “how are you?” becomes “ha-ware-ya?” The “au” (in “how”) and “oo” (in “you”).
 * Enunciate or use hard consonants even if the words sound like they are slurred together.

**10 Phrases and Slang of the Irish**


 * 1) “Sure look it” – acceptable response for any question, statement, or comment
 * 2) “A whale of a time” – a good time
 * 3) “quare” (as in “it is quare warm today”) – quite or very
 * 4) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“put the heart crossways” (in someone) – to give someone a fright
 * 5) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“wrecked” – very tired, usually after a night out
 * 6) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“like hen’s teeth” – something rare
 * 7) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“I will yea” – I definitely won’t
 * 8) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“banjaxed” – broken
 * 9) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“wet the tea” – make tea
 * 10) <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-size: 12px;">“pull your socks up” – get to work

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">To all of our Expert Authors, have a safe and great St. Paddy’s Day!

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 80%;">* Price, Glanville (2000). Languages in Britain and Ireland. Wiley-Blackwell. p. 10.

=__So many puns...__=

I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra and orders a martini.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington - obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

=__English - hilarious!__= We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and there would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, What do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship... We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language In which your house can burn up as it burns down, In which you fill in a form by filling it out, And in which an alarm goes off by going on. And in closing... If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.?

=__**Outstanding Coincidences of Words**__=

Hate has 4 letters

so does Love.

Enemies has 7 letters

so does Friends. Lying has 5

so does Truth.

Negative has 8

so does Positive.

Under has 5

so does Above.

Cry has 3 letters

so does Joy.

Anger has 5 letters

so does Happy.

Wrong has 5 letters

so does Right.

=__English, The Universal Language__=

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


 * In a Podiatrist's office: **
 * "Time wounds all heels." **

On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


 * On a Plumber's truck: **
 * "We repair what your husband fixed." **

On another Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


 * On a Church's Bill board: **
 * "7 days without God makes one weak." **

At a Tyre Store "Invite us to your next blowout."


 * On an Electrician's truck: **
 * "Let us remove your shorts." **

In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


 * On a Maternity Room door: **
 * "Push. Push. Push." **

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


 * On a Taxidermist's window: **
 * "We really know our stuff." **

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"


 * At a Car Dealership: **
 * "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." **

Outside a Car Exhaust Store: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


 * In a Vets waiting room: **
 * "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!" **

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


 * In the front yard of a Funeral Home: **
 * "Drive carefully. We'll wait." **

And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP: "Best place in town to take a leak."


 * Sign on the back of yet another **
 * Septic Tank Truck: **
 * "Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises" **

=__**THINGS TO KNOW - quite interesting and enjoy reading.**__=

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'

Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone

Coca-Cola was originally green.

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: £10,120.00

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes

Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'? A. One thousand

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers have in common? A. All were invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.

When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.

Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts.... So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down. It's where we get the phrase: 'mind your P's and Q's'

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!


 * YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when...**

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this link.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no 9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't

a 9 on this list.

=__**REARRANGING LETTERS**__= <span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">PRINCESS DIANA: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">END IS A CAR SPIN **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">MONICA LEWINSKY: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">NICE SILKY WOMAN **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">DIRTY ROOM **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">MOON STARRER **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">DESPERATION : When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">A ROPE ENDS IT **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">THEY SEE **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">IM A DOT IN PLACE **

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: **<span style="background-color: #ffffff; color: #0000ff; font-family: 'times new roman','new york',times,serif; font-size: 18.18181800842285px;">WOMAN HITLER **

=__English from Around the World__= <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a Bangkok Temple: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Cocktail lounge, Norway: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Doctor's office, Rome: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Dry cleaners, Bangkok: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a Nairobi restaurant: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">On a poster at Kencom: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a City restaurant: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a Cemetery: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In a Tokyo Bar: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hotel, Yugoslavia: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hotel, Japan: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, opposite from a Russian Orthodox Monastery: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Hotel, Zurich: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS. <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">(Just Like British Airways!!!)

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">A Laundry in Rome: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

<span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">And finally the all time classic: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window: <span style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE…



=__**A Polish Divorce**__= A Polish man moved to the USA and married anAmerican girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could

arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the

circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?

Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?

It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean what are your relations like?

All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?

No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?

No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?

She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?

I got proof.

What kind of proof?

She going to poison me.

She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom.

I can read English pretty good, and it says:

=__Interesting facts you may not be knowing__= 1 The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed. 2 Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon. 3 Of all the words in the English language, the word 'set' has the most definitions! 4 Camel can spit. 5 "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order. 6 "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel. 7 In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child 8 A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off! 9 Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete. 10 You can't kill yourself by holding your breath 11 There is a city called Rome on every continent. 12 It's against the law to have a pet dog in Iceland! 13 Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day! 14 Horatio Nelson, one of England's most illustrious admirals was throughout his life, never able to find a cure for his sea-sickness. 15 The skeleton of Jeremy Bentham is present at all important meetings of the University of London 16 Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people 17 Your ribs move about 5 million times a year, everytime you breathe! 18 The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump! 19 One quarter of the bones in your body, are in your feet! 20 Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different! 21 The first known transfusion of blood was performed as early as 1667, when Jean-Baptiste, transfused two pints of blood from a sheep to a young man 22 Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails! Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin! 23 The present population of 5 billion plus people of the world is predicted to become 15 billion by 2080. 24 Women blink nearly twice as much as men. 25 Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle. 26 Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible. 27 Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th." 28 Coca-Cola would be green if colouring werenÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t added to it. 29 On average a hedgehog's heart beats 300 times a minute. 30 More people are killed each year from bees than from snakes. 31 The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. 32 More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food. 33 Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand. 34 The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times! 35The six official languages of the United Nations are: English, French, Arabic, Chinese, Russian and Spanish. 36 Earth is the only planet not named after a god. 37 It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA. 38 You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206. 39 Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food! 40 Dolphins sleep with one eye open! 41 It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open 42 The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old! 43 The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds 44 Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not 45 Slugs have 4 noses. 46 Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue. 47 A man named Charles Osborne had the hiccups for 69 years! 48 A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue! 49 The average person laughs 10 times a day! 50 An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain =__Does someone teach Internet English as a second language?__= //Cross posted from news messenger ~http://goo.gl/TGyoT//

Actually, there are already plenty of things I don't understand. Like why is the plural of goose, geese, but the plural of moose is not meese -- or even mooses? And what about mouse and house? Shouldn't it be mice and hice or mouses and houses? Man and woman? That's men and women. Can and pan? Cans and pans. Can anyone explain why? And why is it shelves, elves and leaves, but it's beliefs, briefs and proofs? The plural of ox is oxen, but the plural of box is not boxen. Is it? And what about "tooth?" The plural is teeth. Yet, the plural of booth is not beeth. Of course, there are a huge number of words that have multiple meanings. So many, in fact, that it makes me feel like a number. My dictionary, for instance, lists more than 100 different meanings for the word "take." To take your time or take a vacation are certainly different from taking a book from the table. Taking a pill is different from your take for the job. Taking a corner too fast is not the same as taking a liking to someone. And taking someone's pulse is not the same as taking someone at cards. Take out your dictionary and look it up. There are many others. For instance: I shed a tear when I saw a tear in my pants. Was that pants as in clothing or pants as in breathing hard? And was that saw as in seeing or saw as in cutting? Anyway: The wind was too (not two or to) strong for me to wind up the rope from the sail (not sale). The man shot his bow from the bow of the ship and then he took a bow. The scientist took the lead in studying about lead. The present time is right (not write or rite) to present the birthday present. Farmers produce produce; lawyers object to objects; recyclers refuse refuse; and people can can jam and not be jammed into a jam. He wound a bandage around the wound. A farmer's sow cannot sow and a sewer does not work in a sewer, but a king can be thrown from his throne. You can rest after reading the rest of this story no matter what story you are on. As you can tell, I like to compare words that are like each other in some ways, but very different in other weighs. The sum of that is that their meanings vary. Of course, in the coarse of living, weave scene many English language oddities repeated. But, there is still fun: We park on a driveway, but drive on a parkway. We recite in a play, but play in a recital. Fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing, but overlook and oversee mean very different things. And there's nothing mean or offensive about that. Nor is there any way to calculate the mean value between those terms, by any means that I know. If we are going too fast, we can either slow down, or slow up. Some would say, "It's the same difference." Why is it that we pack up our bags, but we get down to work? On that note, I'm going to get down to brass tacks and finish up this column. All I can say at this point is by, buy.

__**English is difficult and confusing**__ Sometimes ELL students experience frustration of words having multiple meanings, and how the meaning changes when used as a noun and a verb. Read the paragraph below to understand how difficult and confusing English is. The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

After reading only a few lines of this poem it will help you get a better idea of how crazy the English language is!

__Poem of English__
//Multinational personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language. . . until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying them, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months at hard labor to reading six lines aloud.// Dearest creature in creation, =__ Study English pronunciation. __= I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.)

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and argue. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK

When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, knob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal. Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!

Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough -- Though, through, plough, or, or cough?

My advice is to give up!

// From the Internet, source unknown. //

// Cross posted from @http://goo.gl/aNNDm // ❝ ** If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart. ** ❞‒ Nelson Mandela ❝ ** One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way. ** ❞‒ Frank Smith ❝ ** The limits of my language are the limits of my world. ** ❞‒ Ludwig Wittgenstein ❝ ** Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did. ** ❞‒ Sarah Caldwell ❝ ** Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere. ** ❞‒ Chinese Proverb ❝ ** You can never understand one language until you understand at least two. ** ❞‒ Geoffrey Willans ❝ ** To have another language is to possess a second soul. ** ❞‒ Charlemagne ❝ ** Those who know nothing of foreign languages know nothing of their own. ** ❞‒ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ❝ ** Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going. ** ❞‒ Rita Mae Brown ❝ ** Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow. ** ❞‒ Oliver Wendell Holmes
 * __ 10 Inspirational Quotes for Language Learners __**

It is interesting to know that we human beings can read words with jumbled letters as long as the first and last letters are in the correct order. It goes to show the power of our minds.
 * __ Reading Jumbled Letters: __**

__ Read the following paragraph: __ Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Really interesting!



__**Succxssful Txams**__ // ([]) // Who makxs a txam a succxss? Xvxn though my typxwritxr isn’t a nxw modxl, it works quitx wxll xxcxpt for onx kxy. I havx wishxd sxvxral timxs that it workxd pxrfxctly. It is trux thxrx arx 41 othxr kxys opxrating wxll xnough, howxvxr just onx not making the xffort makxs all thx diffxrxncx. Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx a txam can bx somxwhat like my typxwritxr ……. not all of thx mxmbxrs arx xxxrting xnough xffort. Pxrhaps you txll yoursxlf, “Wxll, I am only onx pxrson. I won’t makx or brxak our txam.” But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx bxcausx a txam to bx xffxctivx nxxds activx participation from xvxry singlx pxrson, xvxn thosx on thx bxnch. So thx nxxt timx you think you arx only onx playxr and your xfforts arx not nxxdxd, rxmxmbxr my old typxwritxr and txll yoursxlf, “I am a kxy pxrson on thx txam and I am nxxdxd vxry much.

__** Quotes about English and Grammar **__ “If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.” ~ // Doug Larson // “If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.” ~ Doug Larson “English is a funny language; that explains why we park our car on the drivewayand drive our car on the parkway.” // ~ Author Unknown // “Our language is funny – a ‘fat chance’ and a ‘slim chance’ are the same thing. ” ~ // J. Gustav White // “Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language // .” // // ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr. // “English grammar is so complex and confusing for the one very simple reason that its rules and terminology are based on Latin, a language with which it has precious little in common.” //~// // Bill Bryson // “Making English grammar conform to Latin rules is like asking people to play baseball using the rules of football.” ~ // Bill Bryson // “‘I am’ is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?” ~ // George Carlin // “The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian ‘pahks’ his ‘cah,’ the lost ‘r’s migrate southwest, causing a Texan to ‘warsh’ his car and invest in ‘erl wells.’” ~ // Author Unknown // “The two most beautiful words in the English language are ‘check enclosed.’ ” ~ // Dorothy Parker // “Why do we have noses that run and feet that smell?” ~ // Author Unknown // “The word ‘good’ has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.” ~ // G. K. Chesterton // “The English language has a deceptive air of simplicity; so have some little frocks; but they are both not the kind of thing you can run up in half an hour with a machine.”~ // Dorothy L. Sayers // “What is the shortest word in the English language that contains the letters: abcdef? Answer: feedback. Don’t forget that feedback is one of the essential elements of good communication.” ~ // Author Unknown // “Introducing ‘Lite’ – The new way to spell ‘Light’, but with twenty percent fewer letters.” // ~ Jerry Seinfeld // “When I read some of the rules for speaking and writing the English language correctly, I think any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.” // ~ Henry David Thoreau //

<span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;"><span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Did You Know These Everyday Things Had Names? <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Glabella - The space between your eyebrows is called a glabella. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Petrichor - The way it smells after the rain is called petrichor. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Aglet - The plastic or metallic coating at the end of your shoelaces is called an aglet. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Barm - The foam on beer is called a barm. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Wamble - The rumbling of stomach is actually called a wamble. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Vagitus - The cry of a new born baby is called a vagitus. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Tines - The prongs on a fork are called tines. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Phosphenes - The sheen or light that you see when you close your eyes and press your hands on them are called phosphenes. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Box Tent - The tiny plastic table placed in the middle of a pizza box is called a box tent. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Overmorrow - The day after tomorrow is called overmorrow. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Minimus - Your tiny toe or finger is called minimus. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Agraffe - The wired cage that holds the cork in a bottle of champagne is called an agraffe. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Vocables - The 'na na na' and 'la la la', which don't really have any meaning in the lyrics of any song, are called vocables. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Interrobang - When you combine an exclamation mark with a question mark (like this ?!), it is referred to as an interrobang. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Columella Nasi - The space between your nostrils is called columella nasi. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Armscye - The armhole in clothes, where the sleeves are sewn, is called armscye. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Dysania - The condition of finding it difficult to get out of the bed in the morning is called dysania. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Griffonage - Unreadable hand-writing is called griffonage (Are you reading this dear doctors?) <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Tittle - The dot over an “i” or a “j” is called tittle. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Crapulence - That utterly sick feeling you get after eating or drinking too much is called crapulence. <span style="display: block; height: 1px; left: 0px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; top: 9212.5px; width: 1px;">Brannock Device - The metallic device used to measure your feeet at the shoe store is called Brannock device.